Not the same.

Where have I been all this time.

Questions unanswered, built up fantasies remain as old as the dust in an attic book.

A year has passed, and then again a year will be coming.

Where am I?

They say the loudest of voice comes only when there is silence.

I have stayed long enough from it. And the deafening silence lurks still.

Where am I?

I heard a whisper, turned my sight to where it came from. Nothing I can see.

Chills run down my spine.

Maybe its just me, and maybe its not.

Where am I?

Same place, same feeling, different time.

Lost, remains the same, but its not the same.

Lightning.

A sudden gush of wind howls as a sign of warning.

It goes unnoticed, for they have been used to it.

They prepare themselves without thinking, it has been like this for very long now.

Lightning strikes.

I walked fast towards nowhere, to escape the fate that will soon befall me.

People pass by, their faces a blur.

No one will know. No one will ever know.

I walked towards a path I am not familliar with, but my feet kept dragging me.

To look back won't do me any good.

And as I look up, i was expecting to see signs of a clear sky.

I was wrong but I was happy.

It started raining, and it was pouring hard.

But i was not soaking.

I am safe. Inside your arms.

...

Scars of the hand that grip tightly to the rope of the past will never heal.

It can bleed endelssly, for as long as you permit it to, for as long as you hold on.

Fighting the flow of time, you can never be victorious.

Only you are left bruised, trampled on and grown weary.

Love and affection, those are things that you felt only with your mind.

It is a fact you can never beat time, but truly, you are never defeated.

For time can only go on one direction.

But you, your ideals are timeless and infinite. You are more than just a passerby.

Never succumb yourself to aimless judgments, or things that cannot be undone.

Strive for the good, or better yet, keep that goodness in your heart.

Blabbering.

Life, it can consume you with its unpredictability.
Things you know for a very long time can change slowly you cannot notice even the slightest difference.
Or maybe so you try to ignore that change and then suddenly you realize its not what it used to be.
Life is an ever-changing race towards an end you cannot barely see, and sometimes you even question its existence
Everyday is a constant battle between what you think is right and what you think is not.
What you think is significant and what is not worth anything.
A battle between standards built by men and your self-worth that you have established yourself.
Everyday is a struggle to achieve that clarity.
But between all of these, we can get lost and confused.
Trying to find that faint light of hope amid all of this madness.
Finding our way out, if there is a way out, or if we are already there, then where are we anyway?

Becoming.

Here I am, sulking deeper into unnecessary reasons, into the depths of the unknown and the fear of loneliness.

Life is just like that. People change. Acceptance is your key to sanity.

Things that seemed so important equates to scum after years has gone by.

The world grows old, it grows smaller but it grows bigger at the same time.

People you keep close to your heart has now been lost forever.

Priorities change, decisions change.

Regrets and fear grow larger by the minute, sucking the life out of you.

Now life has lost its meaning, but not really.

There are still those who you can hold on to.

But then again its your choice if you want to hold the hand that pulls you.

And then you realize its you all along.

Change is inevitable. You can only get the best out of it.

And then you'll know that today, what you do, will be your becoming.

C.M.

The cold December wind brushes through my cheeks as we travel along on a rainy morning...

Scared. Ecstatic. Confused. Unsure. Different feelings rush through me as fast as the wind itself. I know, i have not done everything that i should have. But its too late; there is no turning back. 

My chest feels heavy, my stomach full of butterflies and i feel a bit nauseated. All i can hold on to is my instincts, memory, and prayers while holding a string with 60 beads on it. And then it started...

These 5 pieces of paper will determine if the path that i have chosen has chosen me as well...

Months after:

Sometimes you forget, but you know it just lingers there.. not going anywhere..

You cannot do anything but wait, and hope for the best.. and that is the hardest part of it..

Anxiety kills you every morning, preventing you to get up.. But you know you cannot stop it from coming..

I prayed so hard not to get what i want, but for acceptance of the coming truth..

HUMILITY or STRENGTH.. Its all im praying for..

"fifi........"

its time...