Been itching to write for a very long time now and while The Fray's run for your life is singing in the background, I stare at my cover photo thinking of you, hand in hand. It says in the song that I don't have to go it alone. Well yeah of course you'll have that kind of people in your life, but still, your battles are your battles.
Earphones plugged in, humming Bon Iver, shutting out all the world (well I hope its that easy to shut it out) and the rest of the problems away from just one night. Well who am I kidding, i'm writing about it anyway so i'm not really forgetting about it. Again with this question. If I had a cent for every time I used this I wouldn't be writing this anymore because I'd be so filthy rich I'd be busy eating popcorn's and Hagen Daas while watching Avengers on my own surround sound theater underground. That's a bit of exaggeration I hate to admit but it still gave me something good to think about. Going back to the worn out question. What now? No where. I am nowhere near anything I was hoping for. Yes, yes I know I'm still young but why does it feel like everyday is such a slow-mo. It only fast forwards when it's bed time. Then the same old thing happens again. Never had I thought that life after graduation was this hard. It has been two years and I'm still stuck in this place, with no work, no money, finishing one and then quitting one volunteer work, parents still feeding my tinsy winsy stomach, wasting a lot of my good energy on trivial things, and yeah, sleeping a lot. And I thought when I was a student that life after that is promising well I am completely deluded. Or maybe "naive" is a much fitting word for it.
Oh my what now?
If I could only cry out to Adele and beg her to give me her talent then i'd be settled. Just kidding. If that's the case then i'd ask Lucio Tan to adopt me. Point is stability. Where can I get one of those, anyone tell me please? Maybe Lucy Rose knows since her songs is that comforting, it seems that she has nothing to worry about.
Now reading this, it might sound like i'm such a whiny, ungrateful little bitch complaining about everything and not doing anything about it. Well yeah, maybe you're right so point a gun at me will yah? The thing is I am not contented YET, but it doesn't mean that I am not grateful.
I'm not really good at explaining myself in the first place and why did I even write this friggin' random rant when it feels like I have to defend myself. So no, not this time. Let me succumb to my weeping and useless self pitying and let me get back to you when I get in touch with reality. Very soon I hope.
So yeah. I am chilling with M83, Walk The Moon, Bon Iver, Lucy Rose, The Temper Trap, Marble Sound, Death Cab, and Jose Gonzales for tonight. Drown me in your sweet sweet melody and sing me to sleep. Oh look, it's already 11.
